Hello, Curveball

Sickness spread through my workplace and unfortunately got hold of me last week. Following my meal plan is a fight on its own… throw a sore throat, nausea, loss of appetite, congestion, a stuffy and runny nose, headaches, fatigue, and overall weariness into the mix, and goodness does the difficulty of that fight intensify. I was not prepared for that added challenge and my mind definitely veered to some unhelpful places.

“Is it okay not to follow my meal plan since I feel sick? That is a legitimate reason, right?”

“Oh! And if I were to lose weight because I didn’t follow my meal plan for a legitimate reason such as feeling sick, that is justified… right?”

No. No. NO!

Restricting and losing weight is rocky territory for me, and the fact that I began to seriously contemplate and justify restricting and losing weight, using feeling unwell as reasoning, felt like a red flag. The eating disordered part of my brain can get sneaky. I countered it, over and over again, bringing myself back to the things I value and the life I want for myself.

I have not been perfect with following my meal plan during this period of sickness, but I have truly aimed to meet it. Prioritizing my recovery requires nourishing my body under all circumstances. This experience has been quite a test for my recovery in many ways. It has also been a learning lesson for the future.

While symptoms of my cold are still present, I feel much better than when it was at its worst the last several days. I cannot wait to get back to a place of good health! Bodies are such incredible organisms and I am thankful for the resilience mine continues to show, especially after all the abuse I have put it through.

9 Comments

  1. I’m so proud of you and the progress you have made…you’re an inspiration to me and others around you. Keep up the great work and know we are all behind you 100%! ❀

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    1. Thank you so very much for that sweet comment. It is absolutely touching. I hope to catch up with you soon, my dear. I want to know how YOU are doing. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love! I am here to support you as well! XOXO

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  2. I love reading your blog. Thank you so much for sharing. You are truly amazing and have have so much respect for you. Something that really helped me put things in perspective was someone saying, ” The size of our life is directly proportional to how uncomfortable we are willing to be”. I see know you have strength and endurance to continue and beat this battle and find that peace within you to know that you are beautiful inside and out!!

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    1. Sydney!!! I have been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing and hoping you are well. You have surely touched my life. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. And that quote sound awfully familiar πŸ™‚ ha ha. We must catch up one of these days! ❀

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  3. Hey Deanna! You’ve been in my thoughts and I wanted to see if you’d updated recently. Sad to see you haven’t but I hope you’re doing ok and hanging in there. Every time I see a picture of you on Instagram or Facebook I am just so taken aback (and jealous!) at how naturally beautiful you are. Inside and out too, you seem like such a caring and compassionate and lovely soul. Anyways, I hope you’re doing ok and life/recovery is treating you well.

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    1. Wow – you are so incredibly kind. Thank you. πŸ’• I am definitely hanging in there as I navigate recovery and life. Life has felt a little crazy, but I will have a new post up shortly. Your comment does not show your name, but I can say you have such a kind soul. Thank you again for reaching out. It means a lot!

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  4. Getting sick is a huge trigger for me. We even talked about that in one of the nutrition groups in the program I was in. In June I am having 2 surgical procedures which means fasting. For one of them I have to fast for 2 days before! Last time I did this I tumbled back into behavior. This time I set up appointments with my nutritionist for the next day in hopes to stem off a relapse.

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    1. I hope you are proud of yourself for seeking extra support during what has traditionally been a difficult time. I send warm wishes your way, hoping your procedures go well and that you are able to stay focused on your recovery!

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